Day by Day Forgiveness

My family enjoys skiing. I laugh when I think about how we consider skiing our "vacation" when, for the most part, skiing is the farthest thing from vacation. Poor Texas lungs huffing and puffing as they try to breathe while you carry 500 lb ski boots,  awkwardly long skis and poles. Of course this is all while wearing 65 layers of clothing. Going down the mountain is relatively painless if you know what you are doing. The part that everyone hates though, is poling. You get to a flat part of the run and your momentum eventually slows down, so you have to use your poles to push til you get to steeper ground. It's amazing how in sub freezing temperatures and under your 65 layers, your body still sweats. Ugh.

If you don't consistently pole on the flat parts, you won't move. Many times, one push won't cut it either.

Now let's talk about forgiveness. 

When you are a kid, forgiveness takes one time and you're over it. Your sibling, while being prodded by your mom, says they're sorry for hitting you in the face with a Tonka truck. Immediately you say, "I forgive you," and you move on. As as adult, it's a whole new ballgame. Your head says, "I forgive them. I need to get over this," but your heart says, "Not so fast. They really hurt me. I can't just forget about this." 

In my current situation, forgiveness has to be daily. I have to choose to forgive the person who wronged me, for that day and that day only. 

I don't have the secret to forgiveness. I do know that on days that I don't have the weight of bitterness on my back, I have joy. Hopefully in the future, I'll get the point where I won't have to re-forgive every day. Until then I'm just going to keep poling until the terrain becomes easier.