There is a large group of blackbirds that frequently inhabits my neighborhood and yard. This isn't a small group of birds I speak of; there have to be between 50-70 of them that move around together. I've recently noticed and laughed at their easily spooked behavior to any human closeness. One day they were all encamped in my front yard. I walked from my room to the kitchen (all the while inside of course) and immediately as I walked by a window, they fled for their lives. You would've thought I had just pulled out my shotgun! They are so unfamiliar and skeptical of movement that they don't waste time in relocating. Even if the worms and other tasty insects taste the best in my yard, they'll still drop everything and move if they see a glimpse of movement.
As I laugh at these stupid birds, I can't help but think how much I am like them. I am afraid of unfamiliar movement from God. I am so easily scared of the calling of God in my life that as soon as I feel uncomfortable, I run for my life (or try to.) Like these birds, I would rather leave what could prove to be an excellent habitat for my spiritual strengths for somewhere where I'm not afraid. These birds don't let me get close enough to see that I don't intend to hurt them. They see my shadow and flee before I can prove that I have absolutely no wish to turn into a bird killer. When God prompts me to let him move in my life and take a grip on my plans I struggle. I wrestle and whine and gripe and cry and plead with him to not do it.
Let me be comfortable! Let me stay in this grassy field without Your hand upon me! Let me rest here awhile!
I've become so weary in waiting for God that I've begun to show my desperation. In the Psalms David cries out for God to rescue him, vindicate him and restore him. I can relate. It is in these times that while I am broken and in pain, I must still say, "I will stay here until you call me elsewhere."
In a book I'm reading the author says, "Weakness is the new strong." Like Paul, I must delight in my weaknesses, for when I am weak, then I am strong.
