There are countless stories of people aching to get home. Frodo wants to get back to the Shire. Dorothy wants to get back to Kansas. Scarlett wants to get back to Tara.
The image of home stirs warm and pleasant thoughts in many of us. There are also many of us that, when thinking or remembering home, have nothing but bitterness or sorrow to ponder upon. The idea of having a home to return to after a hard day is, in all of us, inadvertently innate.
I am such a homebody. Home is where I can lay around in my sweats all day and don't think twice about if I look OK. I can slurp spaghetti noodles without a care if some of them don't make it all the way in my mouth. I am more myself at home than anywhere else. I love how everyone's home has a distinct smell and when you come back after a long time, you recognize it.
The desire for home is the direct response to the true longing of our hearts. Eternity. The only thing we were created to yearn for is eternity. There is no rest for the soul that is not filled with the desire for Heaven.
As a child, I would lay awake at night in fear thinking of eternity. I would find myself crying trying to process how God had always existed, how the universe went on forever, and how someday I would live in Heaven for all eternity. I was quite a deep thinker when I was a kid. haha.
I always felt guilty about not really wanting to go to heaven. The thought of being somewhere forever sounded horrible and boring. The whole scene of harps and choirs and clouds was not appealing when earth had Limited Too and the Backstreet Boys.When you think about what heaven actually it- it is ridiculous not to want to go there. I mean- heaven is supposed to be the epitome of existence! Why would I not want to be sinless with God in the most amazing place ever created??
Well it actually makes perfect sense. I didn't need heaven at that time in my life because... well....earth was pretty dang awesome.
Now, for the first time, things are quite different. Life isn't as carefree and protective as it used to be.
While running late last night, I was really upset and worried about some events that had taken place. They were such a burden on my heart. In that moment, where I found myself so hopeless, I realized the pain I was feeling was not about to be over. Individual struggles end, but not in general. Struggles in life will never end while I am on this earth. In realization of this, I told God I was really tired of being down here.
Finally, he seemed to say. After all these years, you finally yearn for what you were created for.
It's also good to keep in mind that someday, when I'm exactly where I want to be, it is still only pretty awesome. Even when I'm not in the middle of a rough patch in the road, life is still.....life.
It is not until I am in His presence, laying at His feet, will my spirit be quenched. Thank you for this yearning, God.
